When we lost Justin at five and a half months a piece of my heart broke in a way that can never be repaired. I tried talking about it but no one really can understand what we were feeling because it is one of those things that if you haven't gone through it you can never understand it. Losing Justin in under 7 months of a previous miscarriage was not something anyone could understand. Doctors had no answers to what happened either time- so we chalked it up to my 1% of all things strange and unexplainable that happens to me (no exaggeration- all true keep reading).
My husband and I ran the gammet of emotions, and lucky for us we pulled together instead of apart. No one was to blame for what happened and we had no answers. How do you deal with that? Well I am sure I was not the most pleasant person to be around for awhile, but it was not something I could help or even explain. No one can say the right thing to you. You don't want to hear stories of other people and what they went through. You know you are not alone but you feel like you are drowning and no one can save you. Just when you think it couldn't get any worse I returned to work which was busier then ever- and thought the stress was just exhausting me- until I was admitted again with a freak case of viral meningitis (see the 1%). After my four month recovery (yup I was lucky to be alive)- for something that they don't know how I got it and don't know why it took so long to get better illness, I was at my wits end.
How do we deal with this? I know how hard it was for me alone but not everyone around me. Not knowing what to do I had confided in a friend. That friend shared with me that I should pray. Now I am Catholic but lightly practicing, I believe in God but didn't think that it could help ... at first. I ended up taking her advice and found myself getting better, finding understanding, finding peace. And that is when we found out we were pregnant again. What a rollercoaster... and to rupture at 31 weeks. We never knew what was going to happen.
My husband and I ran the gammet of emotions, and lucky for us we pulled together instead of apart. No one was to blame for what happened and we had no answers. How do you deal with that? Well I am sure I was not the most pleasant person to be around for awhile, but it was not something I could help or even explain. No one can say the right thing to you. You don't want to hear stories of other people and what they went through. You know you are not alone but you feel like you are drowning and no one can save you. Just when you think it couldn't get any worse I returned to work which was busier then ever- and thought the stress was just exhausting me- until I was admitted again with a freak case of viral meningitis (see the 1%). After my four month recovery (yup I was lucky to be alive)- for something that they don't know how I got it and don't know why it took so long to get better illness, I was at my wits end.
How do we deal with this? I know how hard it was for me alone but not everyone around me. Not knowing what to do I had confided in a friend. That friend shared with me that I should pray. Now I am Catholic but lightly practicing, I believe in God but didn't think that it could help ... at first. I ended up taking her advice and found myself getting better, finding understanding, finding peace. And that is when we found out we were pregnant again. What a rollercoaster... and to rupture at 31 weeks. We never knew what was going to happen.
