New day another issue! RSV Scare!

So it is official, we had our first scare with Nick.  Got the call from daycare, labored breathing, sounds raspy and chest is retracting .  So I call the Dr. and explain the symptoms and they had us rush him to the emergency room.  In a mad dash out the door, frantically I call Mike and fill him in so he can meet me and put mom on alert.  Thank god my folks are back from vacation!  There is nothing more scary I think then an RSV scare with a preemie!  Thankfully he is ok, thank God he qualified for RSV shots once a month, they really help him overcome what could of been a tradgedy.  He is under oberservation with us but I am optimistic that he can get through this  too.  It is very nerve wrecking to worry about this all the time. 

To us RSV is nothing more then the common cold, to an infant it is very serious, to a preemie it could mean death.  When you have a preemie their brochoi tubes are drastically under developed.  They do not have the capacity in their chest to take a breath.  So when the airway is clogged with mucus, nose or mouth they have to work ten times harder to get one breath.  They can't eat because they can't breath and they can't cough because they lack the strengh and power in their lungs to be able to cough. 

Luckily for us we have been fortunate.   Although the rest of us have been sick all winter, Nick has remained healthy.  We have kept him in the comforts of home and under quarentine, driving everyone crazy, but all the while knowing this is why.  We needed to get him stronger and bigger to be able to handle what gets thrown our way.  With the new mix of daycare we have opened up a whole new can of germs.  We are so greatful to have a daycare like we do and a staff that is not only over the top competent they always go the extra mile and have become like family to us.

As I look at Nick sleeping next to me in his swing I thank God that he is here, that he didn't take this angel away from me too!  I am thankful that we had so many people accross the world praying for us!  He is a fighter this kid, for what he has had to overcome already in his short life it is amazing to me how strong he is.

Giving Back and Coping

When we lost Justin at five and a half months a piece of my heart broke in a way that can never be repaired. I tried talking about it but no one really can understand what we were feeling because it is one of those things that if you haven't gone through it you can never understand it.  Losing Justin in under 7 months of a previous miscarriage was not something anyone could understand.  Doctors had no answers to what happened either time- so we chalked it up to my 1% of all things strange and unexplainable that happens to me (no exaggeration- all true keep reading).
My husband and I ran the gammet of emotions, and lucky for us we pulled together instead of apart.  No one was to blame for what happened and we had no answers.  How do you deal with that?  Well I am sure I was not the most pleasant person to be around for awhile, but it was not something I could help or even explain.  No one can say the right thing to you.  You don't want to hear stories of other people and what they went through.  You know you are not alone but you feel like you are drowning and no one can save you.  Just when you think it couldn't get any worse I returned to work which was busier then ever- and thought the stress was just exhausting me- until I was admitted again with a freak case of viral meningitis  (see the 1%).  After my four month recovery (yup I was lucky to be alive)- for something that they don't know how I got it and don't know why it took so long to get better illness, I was at my wits end.
How do we deal with this?  I  know how hard it was for me alone but not everyone around me.  Not knowing what to do I had confided in a friend.  That friend shared with me that I should pray.  Now I am Catholic but lightly practicing, I believe in God but didn't think that it could help ... at first.  I ended up taking her advice and found myself getting better, finding understanding, finding peace.  And that is when we found out we were pregnant again.  What a rollercoaster... and to rupture at 31 weeks.  We never knew what was going to happen. 

The New Venture

In the process of "cleasing" and trying to regain center I have also  started "cleaning" out old stuff. I figure we could use the extra money so why not try our luck on EBAY- after all everyone seems to make money on there.  I am moderately sucessful.  I have this habit almost an addiction to get a really good deal, and then reselling it for something else after it is spruced up.  So I have been making this my side business.  I'll let you know how that works out.  So as part of my cleaning I am going through all our old stuff, although very time comsuming it is cleasing - saying good bye to certain chapters in life.

I also started thinking, everyone always told me that when I publish my cookbook (the epic project) they would buy a copy so I have decided to cook all my items, take pictures and post on ebay for .99 cents under "nkgedrich".  We'll see how my pictures hold up since you can't see the recipe until you purchase it, but it is only .99 cents.  And they are delicious :O)  I figure once I have enough pictures, I will have my recipes typed up and my book may be one step closer to being complete.  I think at this point I am so afraid of failure (as cooking was always my one true passion) I have somehow stifled myself for long I may have missed my window. 

I pray that it works out and that somehow I will find my niche, and have that feeling of true satisfaction that I lack currently.  Don't get me wrong I love my job but it is just not "my plan".

So if you are interested in any of these recipes, hope on ebay, which links to my facebook... which may someday link to you!